Category: Books

It’s been awhile since I’ve reviewed anything (probably shows how much I’ve read lately!), but this book was so compelling I wanted to document my thoughts on it…

My husband and I have had on-going conversations over the course of our parenting about the impact of American cultural realities like the Disney princesses, Hannah Montana, and the ever-present marketing monster of materialism.  At first, I didn’t fully follow his thinking on why these entities might not be the best role models for our impressionable daughter.  He felt that they painted a weak picture of women, encouraged women to form their identity around a man, and sucked innocent children into the never-ceasing macine of American consumption.  Because I’d grown up with Disney, I hadn’t put much thought into its underlying message before, but his opinions made sense, and I could support his point.  Over the years, though, I’d occasionally wonder if he was really right.  I mean, don’t all little girls like princesses?  What’s so wrong with wanting to dress cute and act like a rock star?  Are beauty pageants really that bad or are they just harmless fun for little girls?   Is pink really the only color my little girl can wear?

In her book Cinderella Ate My Daughter, Peggy Orenstein addresses my questions in detail, giving specific examples about how beloved mainstream media female characters like Hannah, Cinderella, and yes, even my beloved Dora send very mixed messages to our daughters.  She cites studies, analyzes cultural trends, and digs into marketing tactics regarding the messages being sent to our girls through popular mainstream characters and cultural trends like pink and sparkly girl-oriented toys, pop-star role models turned pole dancers, and failed Disney princesses.

And while I never really disagreed with him, I now have the details to back up what my husband’s intuitive sense was.  Throughout the book, Peggy repeatedly examines a few ideas:

• What messages do our daughters receive about who they should be from what they see on TV?
• What do positive role models look like for girls?
• How aware are parents of the impact culture has on what our children believe about themselves and the world?

While I don’t fully agree with all of her conclusions, I wholeheartedly concur with her basic premise that we shouldn’t thoughtlessly allow our daughters to form their female identity on characters whose deepest aspiration is to catch a man or wear a cute outfit.  I also deeply appreciate her conclusion that, in the end, our highest priority is to teach our daughters to “see themselves from the inside out rather than the outside in”.

From Joel Crohn’s Mixed Matches (1995), another great book on intercultural marriage:

Mixed matches are more complicated relationships than those between people from similar backgrounds.  As much as we would like to believe that “people are just people” or that “love conquers all,” every layer of difference introduced into a relationship adds more complexity and new challenges.  Differences in cultural and family styles may be fascinating, but they are also alien.  Those traits that initially seem so attractive can ultimately lie at the roots of the most difficult problems… These … don’t mean that mixed matches are doomed to unhappiness.  Millions of families around the world can testify to the possibility of finding satisfying answers to the questions raised by cross-cultural relationships.  But as in all complex and worthwhile enterprises, the most successful people tend to be those who are willing to face the issues at hand and work on them.  Couples who develop the skills to deal with the personal, interpersonal, and social issues that are part of being in a mixed match are the most likely to find ways to use their differences to build strong and rewarding relationships.

I think this statement hits home because, in spite of the strength of our own cross-cultural skills, it is our willingness to “deal with the personal, interpersonal, and social issues” that we face that has been most valuable in our relationship.  The fact that we’re both communicators and processors helps us to build bridges to each other when we feel far apart.

What about you?  What speaks to you in these words? 

For everything in this world tries to pull us away from community, pushes us to choose ourselves over others, to choose independence over interdependence, to choose great things over small things, to choose going fast alone over going far together. – Shane Claiborne

While I am deeply pulled toward the idea of community, the reality that I am much more comfortable living independently tears at me.  Skye Jethani sums up my sentiment perfectly in his [highly recommended] book The Divine Commodity, “But the idea of community always appears more beautiful than the reality.  Real people are difficult, and real arguments erupt.  This is the dilemma of community – we desire it, we need it, but we seem ill equipped to create it.”

Yup, that’s me.

I’m discovering this through something that, [sadly] for me, is an unusual circumstance – a prayer group, actually two (!) of them.  Continue reading “commUNITY” →

After reading a recent book on intercultural marriage, I found myself longing for ‘deeper mentors’ who weren’t just addressing introductory issues to an interracial or intercultural marriage, but the long term questions of life together.  I read the first section of the book, “Foundations for Christian Leaders” years ago, and while I found examinations of biblical foundations, counseling tips, racial misconceptions, and historical examinations of interracial marriages helpful, it only spoke to my mind, not my soul, so I put it down and just picked it up again last week.  I was pleasantly surprised to discover that section 2 “Support for interracial couples and multiracial families” addressed much of what I’d been looking for.

In this section, a variety of well-seasoned veterans speak to issues multiracial individuals and interracial couples face.  With wisdom, graciousness, and honesty, they openly discuss biracial children, family issues, combining cultures, and racial reconciliation.  The authors in this section all do an excellent job of examining the many questions that arise with interracial and inter-cultural relationships.  While the book focuses primarily on interracial relationships, I interchange this term with inter-cultural b/c it also address this dynamic as well.  Clearly, the most thorough experience covered is black-white marriage, but I found much that translated to our experience even though we’re not a black-white couple.

An appendix includes a thorough list of websites, books, support groups, organizations, and research articles for multiracial individuals and families.

(For those of you in education, you’ll understand the 3 month hiatus = end of the Spring semester + recovering from the year = resurface mid-June!)

I was quite excited when I saw Michael Romanowski and Teri McCarthy’s new book Teaching in a Distant Classroom: Crossing Borders for Global Transformation (Intervarsity).  I supervise international TESOL practicums during the summer and have been looking for a book like this for quite sometime.  I had high enough hopes that it would be suitable for my students to read that I assigned it to them before I had actually read it.  I’ve now finished, and am delighted to report that it’s even better than I’d hoped!

One of the most frequent misunderstandings I encounter with people hoping to teach overseas is that they don’t really take the actual task of teaching very seriously.  Some assume they can  use “teaching English” 1) as a mask to do “real ministry”, 2) a way to travel and see the world, or 3) an easy way to get a visa into a closed country.  Romanowski and McCarthy quickly and clearly dispel these myths on page 1 of chapter 1:

Often when Christians decide to go outside their homeland to teach…friends and family ask, “If you can’t talk about Jesus in the classroom over there, how on earth are you going to be a missionary?”  For the missions-minded North American evangelical, it’s a legitimate question.  But the question is not what is troubling.  What is more disturbing is the common response, “Oh I’m going as a teacher to get into the country so that I can do my real job of evangelism.”

So begins their case for competent, well-trained, serious professionals – especially among Christians.  They assert that “teaching should flow out of a Christians’ sense of calling” – not “merely moonlighting.”  They provide a variety of charts (one of my favorite parts of a book!) such as:

• motives for teaching overseas (non-religious and Christian)
• worldview influences and teaching
• various educational models/methods
• my favorite chart goes quite in depth comparing culturally responsive teachers with Jesus’ teaching.

Other interesting components of the book include a plethora of personal perspectives from people who have taught abroad, helpful websites, movie recommendations and a variety reflective questions for the reader.  On top of this, the entire book repeatedly explores how committed faith and excellence in teaching integrate.

For the Christian overseas teacher, Teaching in a distant classroom is a thorough, honest, and challenging introduction to teaching abroad.  I’m completely thrilled for my students to read this as they complete their practicums as it synthesizes so much of what they have studied in their coursework.  I’m excited to hear their responses.  I’ll be highly recommending the book to every TESOL practicum supervisor I know, plus to the many others who contact me regarding teaching abroad.  It is a realistic, practical, and wise guide for those heading down the path of teaching in a distant classroom.